guilty as charged:
Dinah is a big spendthrift

i know it la
but when mum says it, i'm just too proud to admit
but now i'm so so so guilty for spending so much
on all the little things that just add up
unnecessities, things that i can live/do without
i feel so guilty that the family is scrimping & saving every single cent
and i'm living such a luxurious life
mom always say that we can't afford to live the lives that the others have
just have the bare necessities will do
but i don't know why i keep spending
very frustrating when at the end of the day
you feel so very guilty that i just wanna hide some where
or just disappear
no self control
i think it's very hard for friends to understand
cos the way i spend is not at all like one who is in financial difficulty
until it hits rock bottom
and there's REALLY NO MONEY AT ALL
mum doesn't have, dad's not giving, and i skip work cos i'm too tired
so there's no money
no money no money no money
and when there's no money, u can't go out
and cos all the friends go out
and when u say u don't want to cos you don't have money
they give u the weird look and say you anti-social
and when you do go out, you're bound to spend some money
and then you owe friends, which is not a very nice thing
at the end of the day, i feel terrible all over again cos you borrow/friends have to treat you
there's always a dilemma: friends, money & time to rest
and i always can't seem to make the right choice
or rather the choice i make always seems to be wrong
ARGHHHHHHHHH
i'm so fickle also
i suck

i realise i'm the kinda person who doesn't like to go out
but at the same time, staying at home is boring too
so i dunno what i want
i'm weird man

anyway, THANK YOU BIRTHDAY BOYS FOR THE VERY EXPENSIVE TREAT! DARREN, KENDRICK & JOEL! NO MORE CRAYFISH FOR US! haha....
chipped my tooth while eating the last cucumber & accidentally biting the fork...ouch...

Lesson for the day: I don't think i will go to JB again...it costs too much...

ivp swimming tmr
i really don't feel like swimming
or rather, i don't feel like doing anything
everyday i don't wanna go for class
don't wanna do anything
i wanna dig a hole and hide in there forever
it's not lazy or what, but i don't know what is the feeling
helpppppppp
why am I feeling like this....

from today, Dinah will live a simple life. Only the bare necessities.
God please help me to be a good steward of Your money. Thank you. Amen.

My life is in Your hands. Take me, mould me, use me Lord.