oh well, not so bad after all
now that things have settled down
and that we've handed over
and its time to study
things will really change when almost half the 'living' blk seniors go for exchange next sem
don't even wanna think abt it now.bleah

decisions
are just so hard to make
so many things to choose from

to concentrate on my running to meet the timing for AUG
i have to give up trg hard for swimming
and i realised i love to swim with this team
and not as though it's a confirm place even if i train hard

to train hard for swimming
it won't make my run superb
and not as though my swim is fantastic to get me some where
only an IVP medal

putting it together, just got a $500 racer bike from shihan
and i haven't been putting it to good use
cept for the cycles to work
if i wanna rep spore for tri
i gotta get out of hall
lead a crazy trg life=no outside life
forfeit all my yummy food
dunno if my already lousy studies will become even lousier

then there is handball
janice says handball federation wants me to go try it out with them
I WANT TO! I LOVE HBALL!
plus u get to go overseas too
rep spore on a small scale
but this seems to be at the lowest priority of the list of things
really boring to be running, swimming & cycling all ur life
no chance to try out other stuff

jack of all trades master of NONE

plus the weekends are for teaching
i love my job
love the kids
love to see them become water babies
love to see them learn how to swim
and when they can do it
the sense of satisfaction is indiscribable
minus away the times when i do wrong
and fail as a teacher
push them too hard
when they're only kids
and that's all i have to say about that

AND COMPETITONS ALWAYS HAVE TO FALL ON A WEEKEND & CLASH WITH TEACHING! ok la but it's quite hard to put any race on a weekday.sighhhhhhhhh

it's the holidays
there's no time to meet friends
no time to go back to vj
no time no time
is this the kind of life i want?

i don't wanna look back
thinking of "what if...blah blah"
i'm not growing any younger
and somethings you can only do when u're young
i can squeeze in everything
but my body can't take it already man
always feel so tired
and i'm only 20!!!! not even an adult

seems like it's not a big problem
but it's troubling me
i gotta make up my mind soon

argh!
God help me to choose please!!!!!


"For I know the plans I have for you," declares the LORD, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future. Jeremiah 29:11

please help me to live out the life that You want for me
not what i want
it's so hard
sigh